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Elovia

What is your life's biggest mistake?

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Not going to school when I was younger or working for a company for 10 years when I knew they were a loser after 5.

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There were two girls who took advantage of my good nature and gullibility, at different points in my life. I wish i'd had the courage of my convictions both times.

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Letting my coach talk me into playing RB.  I had suffered a knee injury 2 years prior and really didn't want to play offense anymore.  A month later, I tore my ACL.  I wrestled for a long time and the injury prevented me from wrestling my senior year ... that sucked.   High school injury with life long consequences. 

Also not focusing on school when I had the opportunity.  I was to busy chasing girls and getting drunk.

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31 minutes ago, Dunnar said:

I was to busy chasing girls and getting drunk.

Nothing wrong with that!!!

It's what we call "character building" in the UK. The nation is built on it.

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My biggest regret was letting my ego get in the way while transitioning to adulthood. After high school, my parents tried to get me to enroll in community college before entering university. I opted to avoid what I called "High Scool 2.0" and entered university directly (pre-Medical course of study, no less, to mate with my love of computer tech - I had visions of studying to create robotic prostheses, but technology was not sufficiently advanced).

At that same time, my parents recognized that I needed a vehicle to get to and from class, and so they provided me with one of their choosing; it was practical and very fuel efficient, but gutless and ugly. I would have none of it, and so, on my own I went out and purchased a slightly used, very low miles, two-seat sports car (1980 Mazda RX7) that I could barely afford (the bank loan payments let alone gas and insurance).

Faced with my self-imposed set of responsibilities in paying for my own vehicle, gas, and insurance ... along with taking a full course load at university ... while working a minimum wage job flipping burgers at a local mom-n-pop type of restaurant ... I struggled in burning the candle at both ends and in the middle.  I burnt out after a year of virtually no sleep (i.e., close the restaurant at midnight, do homework and study for class quizzes and exams, crash to bed by 4:00am, up at at class starting at 7:00am, classes and labs through to the afternoon, go to work, and repeat ... sleep long and hard on weekends but still put in a few hours at work). Me and the Dunkin' Doughnuts night baker often shared a bottomless pot of coffee; because that's where I studied after work ... it was conveniently near the restaurant, and the doughnut shop was open 24/7.

I cut my losses and dropped out of university and, in making my life's worst mistake, began the hard road toward success by working to make ends meet.  I switched careers several times over the next 30+ years, each starting at the bottom rung and working hard, late and often, to reach the glass ceiling through which I could not pass without a degree. I worked in restaurants from busboy through head chef; I worked in oil field construction support from expediter to lead technician; I worked in contract inspection from frontline welding inspector to quality control to quality assurance and on to chief inspector and test lab branch manager.

I always regretted not taking time to complete my degree ... by making a different choice in which loss to cut.  Once I started working, I put on the golden handcuffs ... you know, you either have the time or the money to go back to university, but not both simultaneously. Earning over six figures with no benefits, a mortgage, car payments, and with a wife and kid to support, will do that ... not to mention my computer hardware and game playing expenses.

Eventually we were able to put aside enough savings to allow me to stop working long enough to once again pursue a college education.  And I'll tell you that the degrees are all that much sweeter. And in the end - in hindsight - all those hard times forged who I have become, and make my (current) work seem easy by comparison.  While I did not end my path where I originally set out, I have no regrets for where I've arrived and the road upon which I now travel.

Would life have been easier had I made different choices?  Maybe. I might even have been richer or more famous.  But I don't (and won't) know if I'd have been as satisfied.

 

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Getting back together with someone who had hurt me. 

I had dated this girl sophomore year, and then found out that she cheated on me. 

November of senior year, I got back together with her. We went to Hamilton, a nice dinner, and were planning on going to prom in spring. 

Then it all came crashing down about 2 weeks before prom. 

I was at FNM playing Draft and had some time between rounds. I said bye to her, and she said bye to an acquaintance that we know. I think I said something along the lines of "you've been good to her, i'm her bf, etc." He looked shocked and wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Eventually, he said "She and I have been dating for a year and a half."

That felt like shit. 

I went home, pulled my bottle of Fireball from under my bed, and knocked back most of the bottle in one night. 

It felt fucking terrible. And she had played me all along.

I called her brother on Discord the next day to talk with him. He and I are really good friends, and, if we had more time, would hang out more often. We were playing Magic on Untap when she texted me and said "Hey, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what was going on with X". I just texted back and told her to leave me alone.

 

Yeah. That hurt. A lot. And currently, it's my greatest regret. 

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18 hours ago, MTGMTB said:

Getting back together with someone who had hurt me. 

I had dated this girl sophomore year, and then found out that she cheated on me. 

November of senior year, I got back together with her. We went to Hamilton, a nice dinner, and were planning on going to prom in spring. 

Then it all came crashing down about 2 weeks before prom. 

I was at FNM playing Draft and had some time between rounds. I said bye to her, and she said bye to an acquaintance that we know. I think I said something along the lines of "you've been good to her, i'm her bf, etc." He looked shocked and wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Eventually, he said "She and I have been dating for a year and a half."

That felt like shit. 

I went home, pulled my bottle of Fireball from under my bed, and knocked back most of the bottle in one night. 

It felt fucking terrible. And she had played me all along.

I called her brother on Discord the next day to talk with him. He and I are really good friends, and, if we had more time, would hang out more often. We were playing Magic on Untap when she texted me and said "Hey, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what was going on with X". I just texted back and told her to leave me alone.

 

Yeah. That hurt. A lot. And currently, it's my greatest regret. 

Those are rough.  I think we've all been with that one person who we knew was bad for us but kept going back for more punishment.

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13 hours ago, Lasraik said:

Those are rough.  I think we've all been with that one person who we knew was bad for us but kept going back for more punishment.

Amen

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Sensing a theme ... women and education.

When I was younger, my biggest regret might have been a women.  But as I have gotten older, I see things differently.  The way I see it now, all of those prior relationships prepared me for my current one as I would not be the man I am today without that collection of experiences.

Hell, even my marriage has been a journey.  We had some ups and downs ... and more downs.  But we eventually grew into what we have now.  Its not what I envisioned my marriage would be.  We wouldn't call each other soulmates or anything like that.  But a partnership, where each of us has our roles, where we are comfortable with each other, we know our limits and have formed a bond over 18 years of marriage, raising 2 kids, and all the other joys and crap that life throws at you day in and day out.

I have never regretted a relationship as each was an opportunity to learn and grow.  My only regrets are things I didn't do.  The people I didn't talk to, the places I didn't go, the work I didn't put in.

Unfortunately, I have been to a lot of funerals in the past couple of years.  Every single eulogy had 2 things in common ... family and travel.  The people you meet and the places you go.

Kind of rambling ... there's a point in there somewhere.

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