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Dunnar

@Pas+@Jazz+@Wolph ... Opportunity of a life time

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You have been presented with the opportunity of a lifetime.  I am sure this is one of those moments in life where you will remember every detail of where you were when you heard the news.  So here goes ... you have been given a Cleveland Browns home game.

Thanks to our wonderful commissioner, Sir Rodger Goodell the Great (pictured below)

 ClownRoger.jpg

in his infinite wisdom, as he wishes to grow the game of football in countries that don't watch the game nor know the rules, nor really have any interest in football beyond a curiosity.  To accomplish this, he generously lets teams participate in a "home" game in London.  There are only 8 home games a year, so each fan base is extremely thrilled to give away one of those dates.

During the Fall of 2017,  the Cleveland Browns will host a game at London's Twickenham Stadium.  You, the people of London, the great people of Britain, and dare I say, the great people of the EU, have been given the opportunity to transform the stadium into The Factory of Sadness.

You will get to see the #1 overall pick in the draft ... annually awarded to the team with the worst record.  The Browns are currently 0-13, with 3 games left.  I am sure with much hard work and perseverance, they can become the 2nd team ever to achieve perfection ... 0-16.  They currently control their own destiny as the next closest team is the 49ers, with 1 win.

Today marks the one year anniversary of the Browns last win ... against the 49ers ... with Johnny Manziel as quarterback.  You may have heard of him.  Or seen pictures of him with rolled up dollar bills, punching people in bars, going in and out of rehab, or smacking his crazy girlfriend (ex girlfriend?).

johnny-manziel.jpg

Please make every effort to make The Factory of Sadness feel like home, pictured below.  

empty-stadium-1387bc440b8fc9bb.jpg

Anything more than 15% full will feel strange to the Browns.  Unless you dress as an empty seat. Or root for the other team.

As far as attire, I suggest paper bags.

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We're special.  Normal fans of normal teams get to buy jerseys of their best players.  See, we don't have any those ... "good" players.  Other teams also like to buy jerseys of their quarterback.  That presents a bit of a challenge as we have had a plethora of people playing quarterback.  Below is a jersey showing all the names since 1999.  Note, that list does not include the 6 quarterbacks to play for the team (and get hurt) this year.

Screen-Shot-2016-03-25-at-10.43.23-PM.pn

Congratulations people of London, GBR and the EU!  Don't squander the opportunity of a lifetime!

You may be asking, what is the Factory of Sadness?  Here you go:

 

Edited by Dunnar
Lasraik likes this

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Why Browns?  I thought you guys named your teams in ways to make them sound cool, like Eagles or Cowboys or something.  I think I'll pass thanks, if I was to watch football, which I don't, but if I was, it would be to watch real football.  Or maybe rugby.  Or maybe your mom.

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